Maddening Life

Ride of his life!

2007-06-07T11:06:00.000-04:00

This could have ended soooo badly. I couldnt help but laugh!

The wheel chair of a 21-year-old man became lodged in the grill of a semi truck as the vehicle pulled out of a gas station. The semi then began driving down Red Arrow Highway, with its new and unusual hood ornament still attached.

It stuns me that he was unfazed by his road trip!

As of today.......

2007-06-04T18:24:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton went to Jail.

In Other news.... 14 American Soldiers died in June in 4 days. Gotta have priorities.

A poem for a certain someone.

When we were together,
You always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.

Have a better weekend than I have!

Happy Tuesday!

2007-05-22T19:16:00.000-04:00

Immigration at it's best:

A serious problem if you don’t speak English very well, and you’re drunk as a skunk, and your remote, one-car accident leaves you dependent on telling 911 exactly where you are [911 dispatcher, repeatedly: "I need your location." Andres Vasquez, repeatedly: "I’m under the [expletive deleted by newspaper] truck"]

I need this Job:

San Antonio elementary school principal Elizabeth Rojas was finally removed after she failed the mandatory certification test, for the, er, 38th time. 37, no problem, apparently. Hey, wait! She’s not much of a loser; they demoted her to another position at the school at "slightly less than" her $77K salary, said WOAI-TV.

2007-05-14T15:07:00.000-04:00

Observations

2007-05-10T18:37:00.000-04:00

Spiderman Three- Not as great as hyped, but still good.

Car salesmen Suck big ones

Being woke up at 3 AM with a drunkin idiot driving in my front yard- Sucks even more

The cops that come nearly an hour after calling them while the drunkin idiot continues to drive through my yard.... Well there are no words that can describe how mad I was.

The shotgun I pulled out after the first 45 mins did scare him away very quickly.

Hope the rest of the week goes better!

To our soldiers.

2007-05-09T12:03:00.000-04:00

I have never been in the trenches, literally, as you. I have never been in the desolate desert. I have been over seas and alone in a nation that did not know me or want me. I have been alone and scared without brother or sister to keep me company. But I have never been where you are. I am past the ability of serving my country in the manner that you do. As each day passes, I can\’t help but think what I would give to switch places with you. Here in America, in our homeland, I see faces every day that take for granted what it is that you fight for. YOU fight for US. You fight for the the basic undeniable freedom that I DO NOT take for granted. I would swap places with you but that is not my calling. My calling is to be here as a citizen of this great country that you defend. If the tables were turned and I were in your position, I would want to hear this. You make me proud. Every story I hear about the sacrifice you pay makes me cry. This is not some propaganda bullshit or some news story gone bad…I am an American citizen that looks to my God above thanking every free breath that I get to take because of men and women like you. I am a member of the freedom loving groups and an active member of my local community. My sons are developing…hopefully into the freedom loving, God blessed men that you are. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

About Time

2007-05-04T22:43:00.000-04:00

That a very smart and certainly observant Judge sent a one truly self absorbed Paris Hilton to 45 Days in jail! It's the best thing that has happened to me all week and I don't even read tabloids or watch one of 30 Entertainment cry-a-sodes (lets not forget to Hassle the Hoff and his drunken ramblings) I almost missed it with all that's going on with the war and all. God knows the Main Stream Media cover what our brave men and women do for our freedom, and that they come home with real mental and stress problems from a war that torments them long after they are home. It's a shame that Americans have not found priorities and looked at the reasons to be proud to be Americans. I say throw her in there and teach her a lesson.

Pass me a Jack and Coke
Have a happy weekend!

New Again

2007-05-02T18:28:00.000-04:00

Forty is the new thirty... Tap is the new designer water... Small is the new big... The blog is the new resume... Vegetarian is the new Prius... Old is the new new... Fake is the new real... Awake is the new asleep... Microsoft is the new IBM... Google is the new Microsoft... Google is the new borg... Yahoo is the new Google... Bread is the new chocolate... The individual is the new group... Platinum is the new silver... Green is the new red, white and blue... Vegas is the new Hollywood... Arizona is the new Vegas... Amnesia is the new bliss... Free is the new cheap... Sick is the new dead... Ten is the new fifteen... Security is the new freedom... Actual is the new virtual... Fission is the new fire... Apathy is the new nihilism... Cycling is the new golf... World of Warcraft is the new golf... File sharing is the new email... White is the new port... Scalable is the new fast... Aspirin is the new wonder drug... Tactical is the new strategic... Five million is the new million... Vietnam is the new India... A gadget bag is the new man purse... Podcasting is the new Napster... Television is the new movies... Pregnant is the new sexy... Water is the new oil... Ugly is the new beautiful...

Your Loser For The Day

2007-05-01T12:09:00.000-04:00

A man not named in a Winona (Minn.) Daily News report checked in to Community Memorial Hospital, bloody with nine stab wounds after an apparent attack which he said he must have slept through and only noticed when his girlfriend asked him about the blood.

And I thought I slept deep!

Cheers!:)

HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

2007-04-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

Just for fun!

1. Create a new file in your computer.
2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton"
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary
Rodham Clinton?" 6. Firmly Click "Yes."
7. Feel better?

PS: Next week we'll do Nancy Pelosi

Lite....

2007-04-25T12:21:00.000-04:00

Here’s the guy who dropped into a pizza restaurant in central London, jumped up on a table, and administered a self-penectomy . . . . . And here’s the guy who apparently (it was from Germany’s Bild) camped overnight in the warm ATM vestibule at a bank in Wiesenburg, and brought his horse in with him [bonus: photo].

Have a great day!

9:10 AM

2007-04-18T14:25:00.000-04:00

The phone rings, I am at work with the news of VT ringing loudly on the television.
My son who I said goodbye to at 7:15 this morning calls to tell me that there is a gunman on the loose and his school is being put on lock down. He then proceeds to tell me he is not currently at school, he is sitting a mere 6 blocks away on the school bus. They are not letting anyone in or out of school and they have to wait on the bus until they are allowed in. 6 blocks away! sitting on a bus. Finally they lead the bus with full police guard they unload at the school with police protection they are lead into the school and told to go quickly.

It turns out that a bank 3 blocks away was held up at gun point, where 3 men thought they could get away with a robbery. Since I have heard that 1 has been shot and taken to the hospital, the 2nd has been taken into custody, and the 3rd is still on the run... god knows where.

In that moment that I received that call my heart sank to my feet. I am so glad he is safe now. Where I can smell his hair and touch his face and know today he will be OK. But what kills me as a parent is that we don't know what will happen and at what point we can feel safe.

Here is the link to the story: To close to home for me.

Virginia Tech

2007-04-16T21:49:00.000-04:00

33 lives lost My thoughts prayers are with ALL families!As a parent I could not imagine the thought of sending your child to school for an education and see anything like today happen. Kiss your kids and hold them tight, who knows what tomorrow will bring.May the families find strength during this difficult time.

update

2007-04-13T19:12:00.000-04:00

The White House and Ford Motor Company now say that spectacular near-miss by President Bush (plugging into the fuel supply of the electric car)didn’t happen the way the Ford CEO told it. [ But, still, is plugging into the fuel supply a possibility? That could make Ford’s legal dept. forget all about the Pinto.]

Nappy Head Ho's

2007-04-10T18:41:00.000-04:00

Big fucking whoppy doo. Imus, In a joking matter, called a team, not all of which are black, Nappy headed ho's! Stop the world call Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and the NAACP. Lord knows they have nothing better to do than march in front of NBC. They need the money and the spotlight. How exactly do they make a living anyway? Let me say that what he did say was in fact crass and disturbing, BUT! Had Eddie Murphy, or any other black comedian said it sitting in that very same studio it would have not been given a second thought..... Chris Rock for example goes on black bashing tyrades in his comedy routines.

Just this morning walking my son into school I hear this conversation...

Boy 1- Hey nigger whats up!
Boy 2- Not much black bean?
I kid you not! Guess what color they were? Oh comon you know you want to!

Both were black.... Imagine if 1 white kid said that to a black kid?

Let's just let him go to rehab thats what everyone else gets away with!

**Done venting**

things you don't hear about....

2007-04-09T14:56:00.000-04:00

Detroit News buried the lede: This note is ostensibly about the Ford Motor Company CEO grabbing President Bush before he disastrously plugs into the wrong thing at a Ford electric-car demonstration, but, seriously, is this car really that dangerous that it’ll blow up if you mis-plug it? . . . .

and,

You thought Walter Reed was the end of the agony for veterans? The Washington Post reports that almost 400,000 disability claims are pending (135,000 of them for more than 160 days) . . . . .

Too cute

2007-04-04T10:42:00.000-04:00

Oh Boy!

2007-03-28T11:20:00.000-04:00

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than mine lol
Garth Flaherty, 24, was arrested in Pullman, Wash., allegedly in possession of 93 pounds of stolen underwear, but there’s good news for Garth (despite his having blurted out that he has a "problem"): It’s going to be really hard to find owners willing to come forward and, with authority, identify their particular undies. [Bonus: photo of police layout of some items]

And Joseph Curtis, 64, a social worker in Ottumwa, Iowa, gave up his license as part of a settlement over his possession of child porn (boys) and his doing "inappropriate" things with his dog.

Now I feel much better!

Old Love

2007-03-25T09:48:00.000-04:00

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the
kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it
comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times
with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the
kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how
to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband,"You need a piece of
tail."

The man turns with a confused look on his
face and says,"Make up
your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

Losers...

2007-03-21T19:46:00.000-04:00

Three guys driving across the Triborough Bridge in NY with 110 packets of cocaine on ‘em and, er, No, I didn’t bring any money for the toll, Did you, No, Did you, Well, no . . ..

Also, A cop in Mims, Fla., saved Gregory Renfroe’s life: He found Renfroe atop a power pole, standing on his recently-disconnected line (overdue bill), attempting to reconnect (and apparently minutes away from having himself lit up).

:)

Awkward moment....

2007-03-15T19:21:00.000-04:00

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond
woman wave to him and says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows
her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids".

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my
bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

what a mouser

2007-03-09T08:13:00.000-05:00

Cute

2007-03-06T15:14:00.000-05:00

The mother of Zachary Rothfeld, 12, filed a lawsuit against the operators of NYC’s Roosevelt Island tram, nine months after that incident that stranded 69 people over the East River for 11 hours until they were rescued. Zachary’s said to be severely, severely traumatized, which was not predicted by his upbeat TV interview right after the rescue: "That didn’t scare me. I remember thinking, I hope there really is a Spider Man."

Wonder if she will drop the Lawsuit?

Big wheels to um Big wheels

2007-03-06T14:57:00.000-05:00

My son used to ride his red and black big wheel up and down the sidewalk in from of our house for hours while I watched to make sure he didn't go onto the street or get hit by a teenager backing from the neighbors drive. He would always make sure to look for me from time to time to make sure I was in fact watching. Then he graduated to bicycle riding even with no training wheels! That led to rides around the block and in our neighborhood. We have always made him take a walkie-talkie just in case he needed us and never go more than 4 blocks in any direction of home.

He starts Drivers Education training school (by the way for homeschoolers cost $390.00, ouch) tonight.... I am terrified! How does one phase from that point of having total control of where they are and setting all the rules to letting them make the right decisions? I hope I have led them on the right path, but how can you be sure?

Can I make him 5 again?

:(

O boy!

2007-03-02T19:25:00.000-05:00

Look, kids! Mommy bought Syphilis!

This, my friends, is our old friend, The Clap!

Okay how awesome is this... these people ("GIANTMicrobes") actually make plush viruses, bateria, and other goodies, including (drumroll please...) venereal diseases!

They even have bedbugs and bookworms! I'm totally getting my 20 year old brother a bag full from their "Venereals" collection!
Seriously, how funny would it be to give this to someone at like... a sweet 16 or a graduation party or something? Or a bachelor's party ("this will be the last gonorrhea you get, buddy" type thing). I don't know, but if I ever work in a cubicle, I'm SO surrounding my desk with these cute cuddly buggers, especially the Flesh Eaters!
Check out the plush version of what some of you are probably sportin' right this minute!

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

Just stupid

2007-03-02T18:44:00.000-05:00

OK so there is this guy that turns used cooking oil into fuel for his car. He does this for himself only, he doesn't sell it. He is finding a way to rid his life of foreign oil and save money. The restaurants where he gets his oil have been taxed already on this "garbage oil" that would just be thrown into a landfill somewhere. Now our fine government shows up at his doorstep because our local news did a piece on him and his ingenious ways of benefiting the environment. They want to fine him and throw him in jail for 5 years for not paying taxes on his fuel.....WHAT! Yep he isn't paying state taxes aww poor government.... I feel so bad that they cant charge him 2.50 a gallon of gas and screw him out of the hard earn tax dollars they so rightly deserve!

Put it simply... they are harassing him because he found a way to buck the system.
I say good for him I just may have to look into adding cooking oil manufacturing into my home life for my cars.
If you would like to read the article click here it's really interesting!

Let me know what you think!

Dark in here!

2007-02-28T19:27:00.000-05:00

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice"
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside.."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In a few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here"
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch. " The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove. " The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy -"$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little
boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now."

Who do you idolize?

2007-02-27T19:45:00.000-05:00

An old Cardinal lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served
the people of the Nation's Capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Cardinal?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die."
he whispered.

"I'll see what I can do." replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the
word arrived, Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the Cardinal .

As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy "I don't know why
the old Cardinal wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Kennedy couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the Cardinal's room, he took Kennedy's hand in
his right hand and Clinton's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old Cardinal's face.

Finally, Senator Kennedy spoke: "Cardinal, of all the people you could have
chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old Cardinal slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life
after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "Amen" said Kennedy.

"Amen" said Clinton.

The old Cardinal continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would
like to do the same."

:)

America's Justice

2007-02-26T19:45:00.000-05:00

A U.S. soldier has been sentenced to 100 years in prison after pleading guilty to raping and killing a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killing three members of her family, The Associated Press reports.

This does not degrade what harm was brought upon this person or her family. The fact remains that a very bad thing occurred and someone was to blame. This soldier did a very bad thing and he was expected to pay for this. So he was convicted and sentence to 100 years. A time that he will most likely spend in a cell reflecting on all that he has done wrong. They might as well plugged his veins with a toxin and put him asleep. His life and the fateful decision he made is essentially gone now.

The crime that he was convicted for was severe and it’s really sad, I digress for repeating this plain fact but, 100 years? What does it really mean to be sentence to 100 years in federal prison?

Just this morning on the radio a local personality was at his wits end involving the case of a foster parent duct tapping his foster son and putting him in the closet for two days, after which he then set the child on FIRE and threw him in the river hoping he destroyed all evidence. What you ask did he get as punishment? 13 years!!!!
WTF People! The justice system is severely fucked up.

now lets just hope that judge can sleep at night!

What ever happened to chivalry?

2007-02-22T13:53:00.000-05:00

Toronto, where a male cane-user and a half-blind female cane-user got into it with each other. It involved a sidewalk stand-off in 2005 where both adamantly refused to yield the right of way, followed by a brief caning free-for-all, including joint go-Cheney-yourself moments. If I had been there, it would have been painfully difficult to have done the right thing (i.e., try to separate the two before someone got hurt) because the wrong thing was so mesmerizing. Last week, the judge OK’d the free-for-all but convicted the man of hitting the woman with a spiteful parting shot that she wasn’t expecting.

Eww just Ewww

2007-02-19T13:57:00.000-05:00

It was too much for some residents of The Dalles [Oregon] to believe that a rosy-cheeked 82-year-old [married, female] church volunteer with a penchant for gardening and a reputation for kindness actually had sexual intercourse with the 11-year-old boy in her foster care" [wrote The Oregonian]. She reports to start her 3-yr sentence tomorrow after pleading to one count (the kid said it was more). Her husband, fortunately, passed away after the sex but before word got out.

Only three year sentence imagine how damaged for life the 11 year old is!

What a world we live in....

The things we do for love....

2007-02-17T15:03:00.000-05:00

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years
they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unloveable, an entire laundry
list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of
time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking
the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The
Therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,..

"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."

What was he thinking!?

2007-02-16T20:39:00.000-05:00

Personal Oppinion

2007-02-15T15:39:00.000-05:00

I could give two shits about this crazy Astronaut chick who got a little jealous and wanted to beat down the lover of her boyfriend. What about the soldiers who died in Iraq in just February alone? The Main Stream Media’s post as the top headline that this stupid woman is what should be important to America! The funny thing is now that I read the story, they make it sound like she is insane for doing what she did. I think the opposite, she may be a little crazy but the jealousy attribute is within everyone. Now she took it too far, that does not make her crazy!

Anyway….

Oh and while I'm at it Anna Nicole is NOT newsworthy get off of it already!

Have a great day.

Happy Monkeys

2007-02-15T15:17:00.000-05:00

Feng shui, twice removed: First, you hafta believe in feng shui, which is hard enough. But then, you hafta believe (despite a lack of authoritative text) that even animals can get all messed up if the feng shui isn’t just right. The Los Angeles Zoo cleared both hurdles and paid $4,500 to a consultant to fix up the happy new home of the golden monkeys on loan from China.

I don't think Los Angeles has anything better to spend 4,500 on heck just a drop in the bucket to make monkeys happy! And I don't know about you but I only like my monkey to be happy... err that didn't sound right.

:)

Happy hallmark, flower, candy company screw you over day.

2007-02-14T08:39:00.000-05:00

No I do not want a bouquet of flowers that would usually cost 10-20 bucks (now selling for 60-80), nor do I want a big box of chocolates that widen my ass even that much more. OR do I want a card that cost 5 bucks that will inevitably gather a load of dust then meet it's demise in the trash can. I may not be a typical woman and have to brag to all my friends how Sweet my other half was on VD. Screw it.

What can he do if he wants to is umm say cook dinner, yes gasp actually COOK! Or maybe even run me a bubble bath, a nice massage would do the trick. So St Valentine in all his infinite wisdom created VD (not the STD) So that men can be miserable if they don't buy the right thing I say let him off the hook and save your cash there are many things to do that don't cost a thing!

Exiting soapbox with applause from men everywhere.....

That’s Messed Up

2007-02-14T08:33:00.000-05:00

Army still short-changing soldiers on defense: Remember "Shock and Awe"? The March 2003 display of super-destructive, yet precision bombs made the world think there was nothing American technology couldn't’t bring to war. Well, here we are, four years later, and the Pentagon still hasn’t armored U.S. soldiers nearly as well as it technologically could. There’s that NBC News report on rocket propelled grenade-defending technology that Israel loves, yet the Pentagon won’t go there because it prefers a competing system made by Raytheon (wonder how much that contract has cost us, or what politician is in the pocket there) that won’t be ready before, er, 2011. And then the Washington Post reported yesterday that even armor upgrades on the Humvee (just to keep the IEDs from blowing through them, not neutralizing them) is still a work in progress. Y’see, the U.S. needed to attack Iraq in March 2003 and not a bit later, even though it was short in equipment by around $56B, and obviously it hasn’t caught up yet.

That my friends is BULLSHIT

so true

2007-02-13T08:43:00.000-05:00

Poor OJ

2007-02-07T19:03:00.000-05:00

O.J. "Can’t Remember," Even When He’s Making Stuff Up? Leaked transcript excerpts of the ill-fated Fox TV interview that was to kick off publication of If I Did It apparently puts O.J. in the curious position of saying he couldn’t remember some details of things he, according to the book contract, was supposed to be making up in the first place. Asked whether he took off his glove before he grabbed the knife (handed to him by his accomplice, "Charlie," he said), he told interviewer Judith Regan, "You know, I had no conscious memory of doing that, but obviously I must have because they found a glove there."

Yo, O.J., you’re supposed to have "no conscious memory" of any of these things because they didn’t happen to you.

100th Post

2007-02-05T13:01:00.000-05:00

Just noticed upon loggin in that this is my 100th post! O well not that they were flabergasting posts anyway.

I have decided to foward my all time new favorite blog.. He is a genious I must say!
Tell me what you think....

Lord of the Idiots!

Enjoy!

happy hump day!

2007-01-31T12:08:00.000-05:00

ramblings...

The Shiite Ashura day came and went yesterday, once again showcasing the world’s, er, "diversity." Some Muslims believe they’re not holy unless (in tribute to the suffering of some 7th-century saint named Hussein) they slash themselves all to hell, blood streaming, etc., and start indoctrinating their urchins at age 6 or younger to cut themselves up, too. Said one Lebanese objector, "When the rest of the world is going to the moon, look where these people are—still drawing blood from their heads."

Also...

What if we created the ultimate toilet and you would never have to [leave]?" That was a Roto Rooter guy, thinking up a contest. So they pimped up a toilet to offer as grand prize: 20-inch flat screen TV, TiVo, iPod with toilet paper in docking station; bike-pedal exerciser, laptop computer, Xbox 360, DVD player, refrigerator with beer tap, cup warmer/cooler, fan, and a couple of more things.

Madam Palosi's daughter...

2007-01-25T20:39:00.000-05:00

has been a busy girl....
Alexandra Pelosi’s Gotcha Documentary: On Thursday night, HBO debuts the Speaker’s daughter’s "Friends of God" video, including a pre-disgrace episode with pastor Ted Haggard joking with two other evangelicals about how often their wives "climax." Also on the show: drive-through services, Christian pro wrestling, biblical mini-golf, and a conversation with an ex-career woman who decided she’d rather stay home, give birth 10 times, and dress like "Little House on the Prairie."

News That’s Just Too Sweet:

2007-01-24T11:51:00.000-05:00

News That’s Just Too Sweet: Fox has bought the Survivor creator’s latest reality show, which pits parents against each other to answer questions from elementary school textbooks ("Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader?"). What a great job to have (selecting the most charismatic wannabes who already know they're going to be intellectual schlumps, just to be on teevee)!

Furthermore, in that vein: 22 ordinary middle-class people, i.e., of average ignorance, fell completely for a Louisiana woman’s far-fetched scam, which netted her almost $1m. She told them she was a CIA agent and therefore had access to a satellite imaging system that could scan their bodies for disease and that there was no muss or fuss to it because CIA agents would do all the administering of the scans by coming into their homes while they were asleep. "Solid, middle-class, educated citizens" was how a prosecutor described these victims.
yeah ummmm can I sign you up?

Yup-Works for me!

2007-01-18T12:45:00.000-05:00

OhMiBod

2007-01-17T12:20:00.000-05:00

Here’s an advance in teledildonics (i.e., where you and a sex partner [yeah, first you have to find a partner], insert respective devices connected by USB cable and high-speed Internet, and synchronize your movements) [from BoingBoing.net]. Another advance from last week’s Las Vegas adult electronics expo: vibrators that run from your iPod (the OhMiBod), even though, said a buyer for the Good Vibrations emporium, "Not everyone is going to want a dual-motor, harmonizing, 15-speed vibrator." Says Who!

Holy Hell I would never leave the house!

Please VOTE

2007-01-11T19:36:00.000-05:00

Ok A agood friend of my family that is very talented has entered this contest.
It is extremly funny and even if I didnt know her I would vote for it! PLEASE PASS ALONG!!

CHECK OUT GIRL made the TOP 5 in Doritos Crash the Superbowl
competition!! Yah! Winning commercial gets aired during the 2007 Superbowl.

This is HUGE for us, so PLEASE take 1 minute each day from January
5th-19th to CAST YOUR VOTE. One vote per day.
Link:
Check out girl

interesting (to me at least)

2007-01-10T11:14:00.000-05:00

Proof once again that the only really clever criminals are the smugglers, as a schoolteacher tried to sneak her prisoner-husband 2½ grams of heroin and a scalpel, inside her tampon . . . .

There was a family feud in Sydney, Australia, over something or other that wasn’t disclosed, but 60 people were involved, and 19 have been arrested so far, and though one of the participants had a gun, the others had "knives, baseball bats, metal poles, planks, branches, cricket bats, pick handles, screw drivers, golf clubs, curtain rods, and glass bottles," according to the Daily Telegraph, and also hammers and machetes.

Wild Ride

2007-01-05T19:43:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday... yes I turned 34. I had the day off and wanted adventure.

To reward myself I decided to do my favorite thing Ride my ATV! I found a trail that travels up a ridge to the north running along an old fence line and then when you get along way up the trail it make a left turn around a sink hole and travels west down a narrow ridge. It is a beautiful trail, and then I came to the edge of the world, but being educated but not to smart I knew the world wasn't flat so I put my bike in 4-wheel, put it in low gear and gripped both hand breaks and started moving down the trail slowly and after I had gone passed the point of no return I had big deep ruts and a log laying in the trail. I stopped to study my situation and I concluded it wasn't good. I looked up and seen where others had made a trail along the ridge just above the one I was on, so I thought if I could maybe climb the side of the bank and get to the upper trail I could live through this ordeal. So I started turning slowly and it didn't take but a few feet to make things worse. Now I had one wheel going up, one going into a deep rut and one rear wheel high in the air. I figured out any more of this and me and the bike were going down this hill like a snow ball except there wasn't any snow and it was going to hurt. With everything balanced on disaster I desided I had to get off the bike if I was going to get out of this so I started easing myself off until I had one foot on the ground and then the other. Now I'm standing on the down hill side holding the bike from rolling over and by moving very slowly I gave it gas and eased it up the bank to the better trail. Now that I survived I will live to do something dumb another day.
Some of the tougher trails can be survived with about 90% good luck and 10% dumb luck. I know we only live once, but I'd like to make it a lot longer. It's not often you have your whole life flash before your eyes I only wish I could stop it and change somethings. But, riding the trails I'm sure I'll get a chance to see it again. Fun is what you make it, fear just shows up. It kinda put things in perspective. I will ride again :)

My Wish

2007-01-01T13:25:00.000-05:00

My Wish for You in 2007

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $200 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words ............

May 2007 be the best year of your life!!!

Merry Christmas

2006-12-23T19:38:00.000-05:00

The season can be very challenging for everyone, whether we are with our families or alone. We miss the people who are no longer with us. and those who can't come home. And it's nice to include friend's who are alone. Please remember the troops overseas and the families who can't be with them. I hope that your holidays are filled with joy, peace and blessings, and that the coming year will be truly wonderful for you.

Merry Christmas

Stephanie

Brilliant:

2006-12-20T11:25:00.000-05:00

Kevin Sutherland, 45, arrested in Salt Lake City for downloading child porn, says he’s innocent, in that he personally disapproves of child porn but that his shrink says he has multiple-personality disorder and that one of those MPD inhabitants happens to be a teenage boy who likes to look at nekkid pictures of teenage girls.

Least Competent (1) Australian model: She screamed hysterically at a riverside park in Adelaide, "Where’s my baby! Someone’s stolen my baby!" Turns out the 5-month-old’s buggy had rolled into the river when mom got distracted by a cell phone call. By the way, the story did not end well. IDIOT!

(2) Gov’t Agency: That would be the Pentagon’s Guantanamo operation, in that the Associated Press has found, for instance, that the Afghanistan gov’t couldn’t come up with anything to charge the 80-plus Afghans with who were supposedly dangerous enemy combatants when the Pentagon finally shipped them back home. The same was true of about 120 others who were returned to their countries.

Really shocking!

2006-12-16T11:46:00.001-05:00

More than 500 accidental electrocutions were reported in Russia last year from people stealing power line electrical cables for resale as scrap metal. According to an April New York Times dispatch, more than 15,000 miles of power lines have been pulled down in recent years, rendering millions of households dark for weeks at a time. One recent victim, interviewed in intensive care, said he was confident when he saw a single line left on a pole, believing that thieves had taken the other lines safely; he is now without his left arm, right leg and colon.

Cheers!

Ice Storm

2006-12-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

Just one small pile of limbs......
And
Our shed post storm....

Been a long week!

Good News / Bad News:

2006-12-06T13:43:00.000-05:00

I have been without power for a week now. We had an ice storm from hell!! Where I live and 13 other counties have been declared state of disaster. My backyard is a mess 2 large hickory trees that were there are mere stubs... like 2 toothpicks sticking up form the ice covered ground. Our shed which held lawn equipment and the boys' bikes looks like a pancake- smashed by large branches. I miss my warm comfy waterbed, which we couldnt use without power. I will be so glad when things get back to normal!

I will leave you with this story.....

Stevie Long, 4, was successful in scaring off two home invaders who had been holding a gun on his mother, her boyfriend, and four children; Stevie had quietly excused himself, put on his Mighty Morphin Power Ranger outfit, grabbed a plastic sword, and then burst on the scene, yelling, "Get away from my family!" The startled men fled empty-handed. The bad news is that a counselor, after talking to Stevie, said that the kid "fully believed he morphed" into the Power Ranger.

Oh mammy!

2006-11-27T18:51:00.000-05:00

Florida state’s kinder, gentler version of Michael Richards: The city manager of a place called Golden Beach (pop. 919 rich people, up a ways from North Miami Beach) said she never meant any harm when she referred to her mature assistant (a black woman) as "mammy," but then, apparently mortified that she’d upset the woman, tried to make things right by assuring her just how much she’s always loved "Aunt Jemima." (Seriously.)

happy thanksgiving

2006-11-23T09:03:00.000-05:00

MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS,
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER
STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.

GOBBLE TIL YOU WOBBLE.........

AND IN ALL AND FOR ALL THINGS GIVE THANKS.

justice

2006-11-21T15:12:00.001-05:00

Thank goodness for protesters photographing everyone coming in for abortions at the Hope Clinic in Granite City, Ill., because three of their pictures will be used against a guy who brought in the underage girl he had been abusing.

On a recent post.... Here’s more news on the Dec. 22 World Orgasm day.... The thought of it just tickles me to death lol.

2006-11-21T15:12:00.000-05:00

WTF

2006-11-19T13:02:00.000-05:00

Preliminary PlayStation3 Hubbub Casualty Toll: One shot (Putnam, Conn.), one stabbed (Sullivan, Ind.), a trampling (Fresno, Calif.), a beating (Manchester, Conn.), a drive-by shooting (BB gun) (Lexington, Ky.), and at least two other robberies (Englewood, Ohio; Allentown, Pa.). Now for a PS3-compatible game in which PS3 geeks waiting in line to buy the game whip up on street punks trying to rob them. [Associated Press]

This will be like the best day ever!:

"Global Orgasm" day is December 22, and we’re all asked to, er, do our parts to create surges of human energy, to see if anything happens to Earth. (PS3 geeks can help, too, ‘cause you don’t need a partner for this.)

How to prove your inocent....

2006-11-15T19:21:00.000-05:00

Years after the crime and many denials later. Stranger than A Reality TV Show: "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes, FOX says: "In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade." Boy I sure do believe him now! I think I'm gona get in line and pay alot of money for his book when it comes out!

Ouch!

2006-11-10T18:51:00.001-05:00

if you’re one of the few who haven’t been able to glimpse the Iraq returnee in London shooting off the rocket from his nether region, it’s here, and if he didn’t have post-traumatic stress when he got back, he’s got it now.

Holy Cow

2006-11-08T14:41:00.000-05:00

A cow that escaped its pen along the Queensland (Australia) coast wandered into the surf, paddled around, came ashore, paddled back out, came ashore, paddled back out, and, after four hours of aquatics, died of apparent water-intake . . . . .must have been trying to getting his swimming excersize.

Cheers!

What Goes Around, Comes Around:

2006-11-06T15:47:00.000-05:00

The only Enron spouse who gets to keep the money that came in from the executives’ shenanigans ($9m worth) is William Dodson, who is the spouse of soon-to-be-imprisoned Michael Kopper. That’s because, of course, they can’t be legal spouses. All the opposite-sex spouses have had to give everything back, but prosecutors are sort-of forced to treat Dodson as an indirect beneficiary, and they haven’t gone after any of them (yet). Good to be Gay I guess?!

Cheers!

Great Cause!

2006-10-29T21:13:00.000-05:00

If you go to the web site at www.letssaythanks.com
you can pick out a thank you card and the Xerox
Corporation will print it and send it to a soldier that is
currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets
it, but it will go to some member of the armed
services.

It is FREE and it only takes a second. Wouldn't it be
wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?

Cheers!

Equality and Justice for All:

2006-10-29T09:01:00.000-05:00

So Florida State middle-school teacher Debra LaFave bonks one student a couple of times, gets 15-minutes-plus of fame, and avoids lockup. Now comes South Bend, Ind., middle-school teacher’s aide Schmeca White, 28, who, as far as we know, bonks no one but does take her clothes off in class and feel herself up, and not only has she been in lockup since her arrest 18 months ago, but she gets sentenced to over 7 more yrs, and Judge Roland Chamblee almost apologized for not giving her more, citing her previously clean record.

Cheers!

We, as Americans, have nothing better to do....

2006-10-26T19:13:00.000-04:00

with our time than to figure out which bathroom to choose!

One State Avoids Turmoil; Another Doesn’t: The New Jersey Supreme Court passed the buck (for six more months) to the legislature yesterday on the gay-marriage thing, but NY’s more progressive Metropolitan Transit Authority (in setting a Human Rights Commission complaint by a transgender-rights group) agreed to open its rest rooms to TG’s based on what they’ve chosen to be. That will probably be less of a problem to Betty-cum-Bobs in the men’s rooms than it will be when the weird-Hermans realize that a dress and pumps get them an all-access pass to listen to the ladies pee.

Men........

2006-10-21T23:44:00.000-04:00

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like..... Bananas ..... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather .... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .....Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like..... Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Shit to laugh at... What a world!

2006-10-20T14:41:00.000-04:00

It turns out that Wesley Snipes is now in Namibia working on a movie, rather than being seriously on the lam from the federal indictment unsealed on Tuesday in Tampa charging him and two others with tax-fraud conspiracy (and Snipes personally with failure to file for 6 years). Snipes is the gov’t’s highest-profile "Section 861" schmuck yet, and the word on the street is that IRS might finally, at last, be getting tough with these guys who are certain that the Code is interpretable as requiring only that foreign income is taxable (thus conveniently ignoring several other sections making it clear that all income from any source is taxable unless specifically excluded). Usually, even dumb people who are high-profile have an array of advisers who seriously want nothing bad to happen to their meal tick–, er, clients. Snipes apparently lacks these advisers, so when smooth-talking tax lingo-ists told him he could save $11.3M in taxes, he got all moist. He’s facing 16 yrs and should surely see prison time when this is all over. Whether they’ll send Tommy Lee Jones and Joe Pantoliano to Namibia to bring his ass back is another question. [In case you run into any of these hucksters, here is IRS’s handy, comprehensive guide to frivolous tax arguments.]

An Australian inmate lost 30 lbs. on a laxative diet, for the sole purpose of getting small enough to squeeze through an escape hole . . . . .

A tongue-piercing gone bad led to trigeminal neuralgia, sometimes called "suicide disease" because of the excruciating, stabbing pain lasting 10-30 seconds, 20-30 times a day, and has been known to drop people to their knees. And in Boston, a mom was found guilty for ignoring her 13-yr-old daughter’s life-threatening infection caused by a navel-piercing.
Mom of the year on the horizon here.

And my personal favorite!
A man denied trying to kill his wife (by ramming his gloved hand down her latex-allergic throat), presenting as proof their written S&M contract: "In section four of the contract, it says the master does not have a right to kill the slave" [emphasis added] . . . . .

Sounds Like a Joke

2006-10-16T11:59:00.000-04:00

Apparently, some Afghan Taliban fighters are shielding themselves from infra-red surveillance by planting lots of, er, tall marijuana plants, which supposedly absorb heat really well. In fact, the Canadian soldiers who found the field can’t even burn the plants because they’re so water-retentive. And further in fact, the Canadian military chief of staff said the one time they actually burned a few plants, the, er, "ill effects" of being downwind created a bummer.

Good Ol' New Orleans...

2006-10-09T19:12:00.000-04:00

You cant look around NO without seeing devastation. But if you are a worker trying to rebuild the fine fish-bowl of a city you sure can find hookers!
"What we have here is like the Super Bowl," said a N’awlins deputy police chief, referring to the booming prostitution trade, serving all the temp workers rebuilding the city . . . . .SCORE!!!!!!!

Random thoughts...

2006-10-08T10:14:00.000-04:00

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen, anyway.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

2006-10-04T11:36:00.000-04:00

A Texas endoscopist (colon roto-rooter) gets a soft, six-month sentence because, he said, ejaculating on that patient was "unintentional."

Now my question is how do accidently spooge all over someones face during a colonoscopy? And How would you feel if someone only got 6 months for doing that to you? Ewwwwwwwwwwwww! Thats just wrong.

Today’s Gross-Out Links:

2006-10-02T11:29:00.000-04:00

Here’s your Guinness-winning fingernail girl, Lee Raymond, age 65, with looping 24-footers that took her 27 yrs to grow (with photo!). And here’s ABC News’s actual transcripts of Rep. Foley’s most explicit (to this point, at least) e-mail messages, e.g., like the one suggesting that a man in his 50s might still be measuring his clinton with a ruler.

Speeding.

2006-09-29T14:12:00.000-04:00

I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY.I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY
WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT.

Ohhhhh Kermeeee (insert sexy voice)

2006-09-26T19:22:00.000-04:00

Former New Jersey governor Jim ("I am a gay American") McGreevey is reportedly in rehab in Arizona for his addiction disorder of needing to "be adored by strangers" and chose, as his "assistance [stuffed] animal" for his therapy sessions, Kermit the Frog.

Never!

2006-09-20T11:52:00.000-04:00

Never, Ever, Ever~EVER~
Under
ANY Circumstance~
Kiss A Monkey!!

Ohh so tempting.......

2006-09-18T19:33:00.000-04:00

A woman in Montreal didn’t cut off her womanizing boyfriend’s offending organ--she set it on fire with fondue fuel . . . . .

Personaly I would have brought along some chocolate to dip my pinapple in.

HNT

2006-09-14T19:32:00.000-04:00

I have never participated in HNT But I figured this Thursday would be a great day to start. And my mood today fits the bill.... Yes, I know I have a big butt!

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............

2006-09-13T12:02:00.000-04:00

I'm Guilty of most lol

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT
WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY
BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS
HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO
MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG
PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST
LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN
FLOOR (or the mop?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE
HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

911 What is your emergency?

2006-09-11T19:40:00.000-04:00

Mine is that 5 years later we haven't caught UBL - His henchmen still run wild plotting to kill American men,women and children. With a 26 million dollar bounty on his head no-one will catch him. I think back to that day, remembering being glued to my set and crying, wanting to run to the school to pick up my children and hold them as tightly as possible. I remember thinking of all the children that lost a parent. I remember all the parents that lost a child. Sisters, brothers, loved friends and heroes. What have we done since then to remember those lost? No memorial is done... sure the plans have been drawn.. I hear in the millions to build it. Why do we NEED something that cost millions? Would someone want to donate the materials and time to build for mere recognition of being a human being. We have countless millionaires that could ban together- don't we?? I am but a simple person with simple dreams and expectations. What can I expect.....

The strength of our nation comes from our freedom, our liberty. Our rights as citizens are what our soldiers over the centuries have died to protect. It is an abomination that we should surrender them without a fight. And doubly so when it is our freedom to live as we choose that makes these terrorists want to attack us in the first place. They fear a nation of citizens free to speak freely, think freely, worship freely. They want a nation of slaves, who live with heads bowed, who want nothing out of life except to remain invisible, who tremble at the sound of a knock at the door. This is what we're at war with. We cannot allow fear to triumph over liberty. We cannot allow cowardice to be an excuse to surrender our rights. Maybe today's anniversary to provide a reminder to us all what courage really is, and what America really stands for.

Rest in Peace

2006-09-08T15:07:00.000-04:00

We had our trip last weekend, I took Monday off. I shouldnt have.... I take care of an elderly couple and have for 3 years. they are the most loving caring people you could meet. Monday at the age of 96 our little man passed away in his home and totally at peace. He slipped away with a smile and no pain. I miss him so much already. This week has been a whirl wind of activity and planning and tears of course. I keep kicking myself that I wasnt here I would have been. I know he is in a better place pain free and happy, Sorry I havent had time to write.

Rest in Peace Dear one you are missed already!

Labor Day

2006-09-01T14:41:00.000-04:00

Going out of state for Labor Day with the boys and J. We are going to my mom's for the weekend to visit. The kids are excited and eager to ride horses and ATV's So am I realy. J and I have been tolerating each other pretty well. He knows I have seen someone else and says he understands that it's probably retaliation. I know he's right. I think we may be on the right track to be nice to each other again... Long Road!

You all have a wonderful Weekend!

Leaving you something to make you laugh...

Ahhh Careless date!

2006-08-30T19:44:00.000-04:00

He’s lovely. We went on a date and then kissed. He’s very sexy; we like each other. So we went back to his. Then we removed our clothes. He really turned me on. We had sex; it was great. Then we woke up, and went out for breakfast. We’re meeting again next weekend.

Mr Right? NO- Mr Right NOW!

2006-08-24T14:51:00.000-04:00

Yes right now... I have said it over and over in my head. I want him RIGHT NOW!!!

So what do I do?
I walk up to him, smile a coy subtle smile, and say..........

I have to tinkle be right back!

How embarrassing! OK So I did have about 4 shots of liquid gold... goldschlager whisky.

He smiled of course and patiently waited for my return, thank the lord, I was ecstatic that he didn't run screaming.

We sat and talked for about an hour. He recently broke up with an over aggressive GF. Before I knew it we walked out together. To his car. To his backseat. Top off in a flurry of lust, I couldn't believe it. Kissing-check, heavy breathing-check, oh he definitely gets a check for the great big buldge. Lets just say I haven't had sex in the backseat of a car in at least 16 years. BUT O MY GOD it was worth the wait!

Now I feel a little slutty OK a lot slutty! lol But you know what I don't care I love it! :)

He is going to call me again this weekend. Has called twice since Saturday. I'm in love with lust!hehe

Gota go

too funny

2006-08-16T20:05:00.000-04:00

Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Wake up!

2006-08-16T19:31:00.000-04:00

The Canton, Ohio, school board's centerpiece of sex ed is abstinence, but it now says a modification is due, after the stats came in: Of 490 female students at Timken High School last yr, 65 got pregnant.!

I guess these experts aren't such experts after all!

Now I am no expert but when you teach abstinence kids do.not.listen. Why not teach kids to wear condoms and to respect each other so they aren't running around transmitting STD's

People, times are changing, kids have sex. The more you tell a teen not to do it- They want to do it!

I don't even want to think of what my kids could be doing compared to what I did at age 13-14 I keep a close eye on mine and they are on a tight leash. But if the issue were to come up I would say be sure of your decision and use protection! You cant take your actions back!

Now that is just Wrong!

2006-08-14T17:16:00.000-04:00

A woman and her boyfriend and the womanÂs 15-yr-old daughter apparently wrote out a contract (and signed it) specifying that while the woman is laid up from surgery for 2 months, the daughter will take her place in bed in exchange for certain gifts. (And did I mention that this was written out . . .Andd signed?)

To sell your childs body so she can have clothes and Body piercings in general should tell you how she has been raised!

World gone nuts!

2006-08-11T14:22:00.000-04:00

We cant carry liquids on planes ( for our safety of course)Thanks to terrorists.

A 15 yr old boy From my neighborhood was beaten and then shot at 2 in the morning (where were his parents!)

Lately a 1 yr old was kidnapped and then sexually molested but found 2 hours after the parents noticed her missing!

LaToya Joplin stands accused of beating her 3-yr-old daughter to death but told a sheriff’s detective that the abuse-ee here is really herself, since her hand was throbbing with pain, in that discipline required that she keep up the beating because the girl never said "ouch" or anything. (Seriously.)

Is there really hope in the world? Sometimes it seems so bleak!

Back to the beginning

2006-08-09T13:16:00.000-04:00

I was 13 he was 14. It was the 7th grade for me the 8th for him. I had never been the outgoing type-more introverted. His story goes a little like this....

he saw me in gym room standing with 2 of my girlfriends listing to my boombox play the superbowl shuffle, gotta love the early 80's, he says I grabbed ahold of his heart and he knew he wouldn't let me get away. The night he saw me he called me. I had no idea who he was, never herd of him, and was a bit on guard when he called. I thought for sure it was a practical joke. That night he asked if he could keep calling me and told me that one day he would marry me. We became inseparable. I was full on smitten. If you were to ask anyone in high school who I was they would say that's James' girfiend. We became one person. At age 14 I became pregnant and our parents totally fipped out. They instantly insisted that I have an abortion. So 7 weeks later I did. 2 days before I was to have the abortion my mother, in her panic mode, says to have the child put up for adoption. It was my choice! Not hers!
I was angry as she drug me along to an adoption center to have the process explained to me. I was young and had to make a decision for myself, for him, for everyone. That child would be 18, graduated from high school, and planning his/her life.
After that we had to struggle to keep "us" us. It was rocky. I thought it had bonded us more.

I have never dated anyone else but him, never wanted to. I am struggling with the idea that he could be tempted to have an affair much less have one. I need to forgive him, but I cant forget the hurt he has caused. I could see it if we falling apart for some time. There were no signs, no struggles. I was living in absolute bliss thinking everything was fine.

I know he didn't have to tell me and could have just hid it. But he couldn't and now I hurt deeply more so than I have ever thought I could. Time heals all woulds but my heart and mind is not wounded it's broken. I do love him how can I not?

I guess I am just real down today so I had to vent.

My new puppy

2006-08-06T11:09:00.000-04:00

Meet Bullseye!

No! Not the fire department!

2006-08-02T19:53:00.000-04:00

In Portland, Ore., neighbors were puzzled when they saw residents merely tossing buckets of water on their house fire while begging that no one call the fire dept, and we know what that means
[answer: a marijuana nursery inside] . . . . .

Revenge....

2006-08-01T19:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, my friend Joe came over and we got to talking. The topic soon became about the troubles that my DH has bestowed upon on the family.

Joe: you need to get a revenge fuck...
Me: what?
J: A revenge F
Me: I dont think so!
J: Why?
Me: What kind of person would I be if I did the same thing he did to me?
J: A more satisfied one.
Me: Just because I will have had sex it doesnt take away the problem.
J: I'm just sayin
Me:Just sayin wont help
J: Oh I can help alright....
=insert wicked grin on his face=
Me: Yeah Im sure you would....

I am right.Right?

Paintbrush anyone?

2006-07-28T14:49:00.000-04:00

Australian Tim Patch is showing his my-penis-is-my-brush art at the Sydney Sexpo that, I gather, is running right now (he calls himself "Pricasso") . . .

I wonder just how good in bed he is?
Can you tell I have not had sex in at least a month?

The beauty within....

2006-07-27T08:15:00.000-04:00

Taken at StLouis Zoo Insect House

Out to lunch...

2006-07-24T19:02:00.000-04:00

Hiya,

The boys and I had a great weekend, thankfully. I had to get out of the house and try to fill my head with better things. So on Saturday I packed up a cooler and fishing poles along with some wiggle worms and chicken livers and took the boys fishing. We had a really good time, we didn't catch too many fish, but we had fun non-the-less. I should say I hate to go fishing! Really... I wont take the fish off the hook and scream like a girl when the kids make fun of me chasing me around with the slimy fish. Plus I make them wear sunscreen and look silly making 2 growing boys put on sunscreen lol. Good time!

Sunday, as if we didn't get enough sun, I took them to St. Louis Zoo. We hadn't been in about 2 years and we spent all day looking at the animals and eating junk food. Got some great pictures I will try to post soon.

All in all it was a good weekend and I managed to avoid the Mr. Most of the time, except a little on Saturday.

I've decided to focus all my time on the boys when I'm not working.

Ok

2006-07-19T12:52:00.000-04:00

I'm slowly beginning to try to live again. My 2 sons need me to be strong and positive, if all you see is negativity then how do you see positive things.

Update: After 16 years (June 17th) of marriage my DH has confessed of having an affair, not because he wants to leave me, but because he cant bare not telling me. It was weighing to heavily upon him. What do you say to someone who does that?

I have been totally taken aback as to his admission needless to say.

We have started going to counseling and he has moved into the den. I want to trust him and love him. Is it possible? I have no idea.

I dont give a shit...

2006-07-10T19:34:00.000-04:00

And why should I? My life has totally become a f'd up situation that does'nt end. Life sucks and I just do not enjoy it anymore. Why try to find positives only to be let down time and time again.
If anyone cares, which I know a certain person does not, they can email me and I will tell you all about it....

How I feel today!

2006-06-29T19:11:00.000-04:00

Empty

Numb

Stupid

Lonely

Scared

Fragile

At my breaking point.......

Perverted Justice

2006-06-28T14:56:00.000-04:00

The Oklahoma penis-pump-judge trial is underway in Bristow, with the former court reporter sobbingly testifying that, while court was in session, she saw the judge’s stuff at least 15 times, saw him twice tinkle into a wastebasket, saw him several times use the pump (which turned his junk purple), and saw him once (during a murder trial) shave his scrotum.

Yikes!

Party Doll

2006-06-28T14:50:00.000-04:00

The designers of My Party Doll, the hand-crafted, finely-siliconed, in-“working-order” sex mannequins ($5k each) are holding court this week at the Erotica-LA Convention, and Agence France-Presse was there. The girls, said one of the designers, are “so durable you can jack up your car with [them].” And, “[I] spent most of the time [working] on the breasts because it’s so difficult to calculate gravity.” (who wants droopy boobs on his sex mannequin)

I don't think they had jacking up your "car" in mind when the creation started! But at that price it better do alot more than that.