What Goes Around, Comes Around:

The only Enron spouse who gets to keep the money that came in from the executives’ shenanigans ($9m worth) is William Dodson, who is the spouse of soon-to-be-imprisoned Michael Kopper. That’s because, of course, they can’t be legal spouses. All the opposite-sex spouses have had to give everything back, but prosecutors are sort-of forced to treat Dodson as an indirect beneficiary, and they haven’t gone after any of them (yet). Good to be Gay I guess?!


Cheers!

Great Cause!

If you go to the web site at www.letssaythanks.com
you can pick out a thank you card and the Xerox
Corporation will print it and send it to a soldier that is
currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets
it, but it will go to some member of the armed
services.

It is FREE and it only takes a second. Wouldn't it be
wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?

Cheers!

Equality and Justice for All:

So Florida State middle-school teacher Debra LaFave bonks one student a couple of times, gets 15-minutes-plus of fame, and avoids lockup. Now comes South Bend, Ind., middle-school teacher’s aide Schmeca White, 28, who, as far as we know, bonks no one but does take her clothes off in class and feel herself up, and not only has she been in lockup since her arrest 18 months ago, but she gets sentenced to over 7 more yrs, and Judge Roland Chamblee almost apologized for not giving her more, citing her previously clean record.


Cheers!

We, as Americans, have nothing better to do....

with our time than to figure out which bathroom to choose!

One State Avoids Turmoil; Another Doesn’t: The New Jersey Supreme Court passed the buck (for six more months) to the legislature yesterday on the gay-marriage thing, but NY’s more progressive Metropolitan Transit Authority (in setting a Human Rights Commission complaint by a transgender-rights group) agreed to open its rest rooms to TG’s based on what they’ve chosen to be. That will probably be less of a problem to Betty-cum-Bobs in the men’s rooms than it will be when the weird-Hermans realize that a dress and pumps get them an all-access pass to listen to the ladies pee.

Men........

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ...... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like..... Bananas ..... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ......Weather .... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .....Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ....Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like..... Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Shit to laugh at... What a world!

It turns out that Wesley Snipes is now in Namibia working on a movie, rather than being seriously on the lam from the federal indictment unsealed on Tuesday in Tampa charging him and two others with tax-fraud conspiracy (and Snipes personally with failure to file for 6 years). Snipes is the gov’t’s highest-profile "Section 861" schmuck yet, and the word on the street is that IRS might finally, at last, be getting tough with these guys who are certain that the Code is interpretable as requiring only that foreign income is taxable (thus conveniently ignoring several other sections making it clear that all income from any source is taxable unless specifically excluded). Usually, even dumb people who are high-profile have an array of advisers who seriously want nothing bad to happen to their meal tick–, er, clients. Snipes apparently lacks these advisers, so when smooth-talking tax lingo-ists told him he could save $11.3M in taxes, he got all moist. He’s facing 16 yrs and should surely see prison time when this is all over. Whether they’ll send Tommy Lee Jones and Joe Pantoliano to Namibia to bring his ass back is another question. [In case you run into any of these hucksters, here is IRS’s handy, comprehensive guide to frivolous tax arguments.]


An Australian inmate lost 30 lbs. on a laxative diet, for the sole purpose of getting small enough to squeeze through an escape hole . . . . .

A tongue-piercing gone bad led to trigeminal neuralgia, sometimes called "suicide disease" because of the excruciating, stabbing pain lasting 10-30 seconds, 20-30 times a day, and has been known to drop people to their knees. And in Boston, a mom was found guilty for ignoring her 13-yr-old daughter’s life-threatening infection caused by a navel-piercing.
Mom of the year on the horizon here.

And my personal favorite!
A man denied trying to kill his wife (by ramming his gloved hand down her latex-allergic throat), presenting as proof their written S&M contract: "In section four of the contract, it says the master does not have a right to kill the slave" [emphasis added] . . . . .

Sounds Like a Joke

Apparently, some Afghan Taliban fighters are shielding themselves from infra-red surveillance by planting lots of, er, tall marijuana plants, which supposedly absorb heat really well. In fact, the Canadian soldiers who found the field can’t even burn the plants because they’re so water-retentive. And further in fact, the Canadian military chief of staff said the one time they actually burned a few plants, the, er, "ill effects" of being downwind created a bummer.

Good Ol' New Orleans...

You cant look around NO without seeing devastation. But if you are a worker trying to rebuild the fine fish-bowl of a city you sure can find hookers!
"What we have here is like the Super Bowl," said a N’awlins deputy police chief, referring to the booming prostitution trade, serving all the temp workers rebuilding the city . . . . .SCORE!!!!!!!

Random thoughts...

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen, anyway.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

A Texas endoscopist (colon roto-rooter) gets a soft, six-month sentence because, he said, ejaculating on that patient was "unintentional."


Now my question is how do accidently spooge all over someones face during a colonoscopy? And How would you feel if someone only got 6 months for doing that to you? Ewwwwwwwwwwwww! Thats just wrong.

Today’s Gross-Out Links:

Here’s your Guinness-winning fingernail girl, Lee Raymond, age 65, with looping 24-footers that took her 27 yrs to grow (with photo!). And here’s ABC News’s actual transcripts of Rep. Foley’s most explicit (to this point, at least) e-mail messages, e.g., like the one suggesting that a man in his 50s might still be measuring his clinton with a ruler.

Speeding.

I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY.I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY
WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT.

Ohhhhh Kermeeee (insert sexy voice)

Former New Jersey governor Jim ("I am a gay American") McGreevey is reportedly in rehab in Arizona for his addiction disorder of needing to "be adored by strangers" and chose, as his "assistance [stuffed] animal" for his therapy sessions, Kermit the Frog.

Never!

Never, Ever, Ever~EVER~
Under
ANY Circumstance~
Kiss A Monkey!!

Ohh so tempting.......

A woman in Montreal didn’t cut off her womanizing boyfriend’s offending organ--she set it on fire with fondue fuel . . . . .


Personaly I would have brought along some chocolate to dip my pinapple in.

HNT

I have never participated in HNT But I figured this Thursday would be a great day to start. And my mood today fits the bill.... Yes, I know I have a big butt!

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............

I'm Guilty of most lol

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT
WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY
BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS
HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO
MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG
PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST
LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN
FLOOR (or the mop?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE
HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

911 What is your emergency?

Mine is that 5 years later we haven't caught UBL - His henchmen still run wild plotting to kill American men,women and children. With a 26 million dollar bounty on his head no-one will catch him. I think back to that day, remembering being glued to my set and crying, wanting to run to the school to pick up my children and hold them as tightly as possible. I remember thinking of all the children that lost a parent. I remember all the parents that lost a child. Sisters, brothers, loved friends and heroes. What have we done since then to remember those lost? No memorial is done... sure the plans have been drawn.. I hear in the millions to build it. Why do we NEED something that cost millions? Would someone want to donate the materials and time to build for mere recognition of being a human being. We have countless millionaires that could ban together- don't we?? I am but a simple person with simple dreams and expectations. What can I expect.....


The strength of our nation comes from our freedom, our liberty. Our rights as citizens are what our soldiers over the centuries have died to protect. It is an abomination that we should surrender them without a fight. And doubly so when it is our freedom to live as we choose that makes these terrorists want to attack us in the first place. They fear a nation of citizens free to speak freely, think freely, worship freely. They want a nation of slaves, who live with heads bowed, who want nothing out of life except to remain invisible, who tremble at the sound of a knock at the door. This is what we're at war with. We cannot allow fear to triumph over liberty. We cannot allow cowardice to be an excuse to surrender our rights. Maybe today's anniversary to provide a reminder to us all what courage really is, and what America really stands for.

Rest in Peace

We had our trip last weekend, I took Monday off. I shouldnt have.... I take care of an elderly couple and have for 3 years. they are the most loving caring people you could meet. Monday at the age of 96 our little man passed away in his home and totally at peace. He slipped away with a smile and no pain. I miss him so much already. This week has been a whirl wind of activity and planning and tears of course. I keep kicking myself that I wasnt here I would have been. I know he is in a better place pain free and happy, Sorry I havent had time to write.


Rest in Peace Dear one you are missed already!

Labor Day

Going out of state for Labor Day with the boys and J. We are going to my mom's for the weekend to visit. The kids are excited and eager to ride horses and ATV's So am I realy. J and I have been tolerating each other pretty well. He knows I have seen someone else and says he understands that it's probably retaliation. I know he's right. I think we may be on the right track to be nice to each other again... Long Road!


You all have a wonderful Weekend!

Leaving you something to make you laugh...