HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

Just for fun!

1. Create a new file in your computer.
2. Name it "Hillary Rodham Clinton"
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of "Hillary
Rodham Clinton?" 6. Firmly Click "Yes."
7. Feel better?

PS: Next week we'll do Nancy Pelosi

Lite....

Here’s the guy who dropped into a pizza restaurant in central London, jumped up on a table, and administered a self-penectomy . . . . . And here’s the guy who apparently (it was from Germany’s Bild) camped overnight in the warm ATM vestibule at a bank in Wiesenburg, and brought his horse in with him [bonus: photo].

Have a great day!

9:10 AM

The phone rings, I am at work with the news of VT ringing loudly on the television.
My son who I said goodbye to at 7:15 this morning calls to tell me that there is a gunman on the loose and his school is being put on lock down. He then proceeds to tell me he is not currently at school, he is sitting a mere 6 blocks away on the school bus. They are not letting anyone in or out of school and they have to wait on the bus until they are allowed in. 6 blocks away! sitting on a bus. Finally they lead the bus with full police guard they unload at the school with police protection they are lead into the school and told to go quickly.

It turns out that a bank 3 blocks away was held up at gun point, where 3 men thought they could get away with a robbery. Since I have heard that 1 has been shot and taken to the hospital, the 2nd has been taken into custody, and the 3rd is still on the run... god knows where.

In that moment that I received that call my heart sank to my feet. I am so glad he is safe now. Where I can smell his hair and touch his face and know today he will be OK. But what kills me as a parent is that we don't know what will happen and at what point we can feel safe.

Here is the link to the story: To close to home for me.

Virginia Tech

33 lives lost My thoughts prayers are with ALL families!As a parent I could not imagine the thought of sending your child to school for an education and see anything like today happen. Kiss your kids and hold them tight, who knows what tomorrow will bring.May the families find strength during this difficult time.

update

The White House and Ford Motor Company now say that spectacular near-miss by President Bush (plugging into the fuel supply of the electric car)didn’t happen the way the Ford CEO told it. [ But, still, is plugging into the fuel supply a possibility? That could make Ford’s legal dept. forget all about the Pinto.]

Nappy Head Ho's

Big fucking whoppy doo. Imus, In a joking matter, called a team, not all of which are black, Nappy headed ho's! Stop the world call Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and the NAACP. Lord knows they have nothing better to do than march in front of NBC. They need the money and the spotlight. How exactly do they make a living anyway? Let me say that what he did say was in fact crass and disturbing, BUT! Had Eddie Murphy, or any other black comedian said it sitting in that very same studio it would have not been given a second thought..... Chris Rock for example goes on black bashing tyrades in his comedy routines.

Just this morning walking my son into school I hear this conversation...

Boy 1- Hey nigger whats up!
Boy 2- Not much black bean?
I kid you not! Guess what color they were? Oh comon you know you want to!

Both were black.... Imagine if 1 white kid said that to a black kid?

Let's just let him go to rehab thats what everyone else gets away with!

**Done venting**

things you don't hear about....

Detroit News buried the lede: This note is ostensibly about the Ford Motor Company CEO grabbing President Bush before he disastrously plugs into the wrong thing at a Ford electric-car demonstration, but, seriously, is this car really that dangerous that it’ll blow up if you mis-plug it? . . . .

and,

You thought Walter Reed was the end of the agony for veterans? The Washington Post reports that almost 400,000 disability claims are pending (135,000 of them for more than 160 days) . . . . .

Too cute

Oh Boy!

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than mine lol
Garth Flaherty, 24, was arrested in Pullman, Wash., allegedly in possession of 93 pounds of stolen underwear, but there’s good news for Garth (despite his having blurted out that he has a "problem"): It’s going to be really hard to find owners willing to come forward and, with authority, identify their particular undies. [Bonus: photo of police layout of some items]


And Joseph Curtis, 64, a social worker in Ottumwa, Iowa, gave up his license as part of a settlement over his possession of child porn (boys) and his doing "inappropriate" things with his dog.

Now I feel much better!

Old Love

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the
kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it
comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times
with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the
kitchen window, Muttering to herself how men need to be told how
to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her husband,"You need a piece of
tail."

The man turns with a confused look on his
face and says,"Make up
your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."

Losers...

Three guys driving across the Triborough Bridge in NY with 110 packets of cocaine on ‘em and, er, No, I didn’t bring any money for the toll, Did you, No, Did you, Well, no . . ..


Also, A cop in Mims, Fla., saved Gregory Renfroe’s life: He found Renfroe atop a power pole, standing on his recently-disconnected line (overdue bill), attempting to reconnect (and apparently minutes away from having himself lit up).


:)

Awkward moment....

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond
woman wave to him and says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows
her from. So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids".

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my
bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies
watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

what a mouser

Cute

The mother of Zachary Rothfeld, 12, filed a lawsuit against the operators of NYC’s Roosevelt Island tram, nine months after that incident that stranded 69 people over the East River for 11 hours until they were rescued. Zachary’s said to be severely, severely traumatized, which was not predicted by his upbeat TV interview right after the rescue: "That didn’t scare me. I remember thinking, I hope there really is a Spider Man."


Wonder if she will drop the Lawsuit?

Big wheels to um Big wheels

My son used to ride his red and black big wheel up and down the sidewalk in from of our house for hours while I watched to make sure he didn't go onto the street or get hit by a teenager backing from the neighbors drive. He would always make sure to look for me from time to time to make sure I was in fact watching. Then he graduated to bicycle riding even with no training wheels! That led to rides around the block and in our neighborhood. We have always made him take a walkie-talkie just in case he needed us and never go more than 4 blocks in any direction of home.

He starts Drivers Education training school (by the way for homeschoolers cost $390.00, ouch) tonight.... I am terrified! How does one phase from that point of having total control of where they are and setting all the rules to letting them make the right decisions? I hope I have led them on the right path, but how can you be sure?

Can I make him 5 again?


:(

O boy!

Look, kids! Mommy bought Syphilis!


This, my friends, is our old friend, The Clap!

Okay how awesome is this... these people ("GIANTMicrobes") actually make plush viruses, bateria, and other goodies, including (drumroll please...) venereal diseases!

They even have bedbugs and bookworms! I'm totally getting my 20 year old brother a bag full from their "Venereals" collection!
Seriously, how funny would it be to give this to someone at like... a sweet 16 or a graduation party or something? Or a bachelor's party ("this will be the last gonorrhea you get, buddy" type thing). I don't know, but if I ever work in a cubicle, I'm SO surrounding my desk with these cute cuddly buggers, especially the Flesh Eaters!
Check out the plush version of what some of you are probably sportin' right this minute!

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

Just stupid

OK so there is this guy that turns used cooking oil into fuel for his car. He does this for himself only, he doesn't sell it. He is finding a way to rid his life of foreign oil and save money. The restaurants where he gets his oil have been taxed already on this "garbage oil" that would just be thrown into a landfill somewhere. Now our fine government shows up at his doorstep because our local news did a piece on him and his ingenious ways of benefiting the environment. They want to fine him and throw him in jail for 5 years for not paying taxes on his fuel.....WHAT! Yep he isn't paying state taxes aww poor government.... I feel so bad that they cant charge him 2.50 a gallon of gas and screw him out of the hard earn tax dollars they so rightly deserve!

Put it simply... they are harassing him because he found a way to buck the system.
I say good for him I just may have to look into adding cooking oil manufacturing into my home life for my cars.
If you would like to read the article click here it's really interesting!


Let me know what you think!

Dark in here!

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice"
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside.."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"


In a few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.


Boy - "Dark in here"
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch. " The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove. " The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy -"$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little
boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now."

Who do you idolize?

An old Cardinal lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served
the people of the Nation's Capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Cardinal?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die."
he whispered.

"I'll see what I can do." replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the
word arrived, Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the Cardinal .

As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy "I don't know why
the old Cardinal wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Kennedy couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the Cardinal's room, he took Kennedy's hand in
his right hand and Clinton's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old Cardinal's face.

Finally, Senator Kennedy spoke: "Cardinal, of all the people you could have
chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old Cardinal slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life
after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "Amen" said Kennedy.

"Amen" said Clinton.

The old Cardinal continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would
like to do the same."


:)

America's Justice

A U.S. soldier has been sentenced to 100 years in prison after pleading guilty to raping and killing a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killing three members of her family, The Associated Press reports.



This does not degrade what harm was brought upon this person or her family. The fact remains that a very bad thing occurred and someone was to blame. This soldier did a very bad thing and he was expected to pay for this. So he was convicted and sentence to 100 years. A time that he will most likely spend in a cell reflecting on all that he has done wrong. They might as well plugged his veins with a toxin and put him asleep. His life and the fateful decision he made is essentially gone now.

The crime that he was convicted for was severe and it’s really sad, I digress for repeating this plain fact but, 100 years? What does it really mean to be sentence to 100 years in federal prison?


Just this morning on the radio a local personality was at his wits end involving the case of a foster parent duct tapping his foster son and putting him in the closet for two days, after which he then set the child on FIRE and threw him in the river hoping he destroyed all evidence. What you ask did he get as punishment? 13 years!!!!
WTF People! The justice system is severely fucked up.


now lets just hope that judge can sleep at night!