Dark in here!

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice"
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside.."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"


In a few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.


Boy - "Dark in here"
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,
"How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch. " The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove. " The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy -"$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little
boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now."

Who do you idolize?

An old Cardinal lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served
the people of the Nation's Capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Cardinal?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton before I die."
he whispered.

"I'll see what I can do." replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the
word arrived, Kennedy and Clinton would be delighted to visit the Cardinal .

As they went to the hospital, Clinton commented to Kennedy "I don't know why
the old Cardinal wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images."
Kennedy couldn't help but agree.

When they arrived at the Cardinal's room, he took Kennedy's hand in
his right hand and Clinton's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of
serenity on the old Cardinal's face.

Finally, Senator Kennedy spoke: "Cardinal, of all the people you could have
chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old Cardinal slowly replied "I have always tried to pattern my life
after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "Amen" said Kennedy.

"Amen" said Clinton.

The old Cardinal continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would
like to do the same."


:)

America's Justice

A U.S. soldier has been sentenced to 100 years in prison after pleading guilty to raping and killing a 14-year-old Iraqi girl and killing three members of her family, The Associated Press reports.



This does not degrade what harm was brought upon this person or her family. The fact remains that a very bad thing occurred and someone was to blame. This soldier did a very bad thing and he was expected to pay for this. So he was convicted and sentence to 100 years. A time that he will most likely spend in a cell reflecting on all that he has done wrong. They might as well plugged his veins with a toxin and put him asleep. His life and the fateful decision he made is essentially gone now.

The crime that he was convicted for was severe and it’s really sad, I digress for repeating this plain fact but, 100 years? What does it really mean to be sentence to 100 years in federal prison?


Just this morning on the radio a local personality was at his wits end involving the case of a foster parent duct tapping his foster son and putting him in the closet for two days, after which he then set the child on FIRE and threw him in the river hoping he destroyed all evidence. What you ask did he get as punishment? 13 years!!!!
WTF People! The justice system is severely fucked up.


now lets just hope that judge can sleep at night!

What ever happened to chivalry?

Toronto, where a male cane-user and a half-blind female cane-user got into it with each other. It involved a sidewalk stand-off in 2005 where both adamantly refused to yield the right of way, followed by a brief caning free-for-all, including joint go-Cheney-yourself moments. If I had been there, it would have been painfully difficult to have done the right thing (i.e., try to separate the two before someone got hurt) because the wrong thing was so mesmerizing. Last week, the judge OK’d the free-for-all but convicted the man of hitting the woman with a spiteful parting shot that she wasn’t expecting.

Eww just Ewww

It was too much for some residents of The Dalles [Oregon] to believe that a rosy-cheeked 82-year-old [married, female] church volunteer with a penchant for gardening and a reputation for kindness actually had sexual intercourse with the 11-year-old boy in her foster care" [wrote The Oregonian]. She reports to start her 3-yr sentence tomorrow after pleading to one count (the kid said it was more). Her husband, fortunately, passed away after the sex but before word got out.

Only three year sentence imagine how damaged for life the 11 year old is!

What a world we live in....

The things we do for love....

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate,
painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years
they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unloveable, an entire laundry
list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of
time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking
the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The
Therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,..

"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I golf."

What was he thinking!?

Personal Oppinion

I could give two shits about this crazy Astronaut chick who got a little jealous and wanted to beat down the lover of her boyfriend. What about the soldiers who died in Iraq in just February alone? The Main Stream Media’s post as the top headline that this stupid woman is what should be important to America! The funny thing is now that I read the story, they make it sound like she is insane for doing what she did. I think the opposite, she may be a little crazy but the jealousy attribute is within everyone. Now she took it too far, that does not make her crazy!

Anyway….

Oh and while I'm at it Anna Nicole is NOT newsworthy get off of it already!


Have a great day.

Happy Monkeys

Feng shui, twice removed: First, you hafta believe in feng shui, which is hard enough. But then, you hafta believe (despite a lack of authoritative text) that even animals can get all messed up if the feng shui isn’t just right. The Los Angeles Zoo cleared both hurdles and paid $4,500 to a consultant to fix up the happy new home of the golden monkeys on loan from China.

I don't think Los Angeles has anything better to spend 4,500 on heck just a drop in the bucket to make monkeys happy! And I don't know about you but I only like my monkey to be happy... err that didn't sound right.

:)

Happy hallmark, flower, candy company screw you over day.

No I do not want a bouquet of flowers that would usually cost 10-20 bucks (now selling for 60-80), nor do I want a big box of chocolates that widen my ass even that much more. OR do I want a card that cost 5 bucks that will inevitably gather a load of dust then meet it's demise in the trash can. I may not be a typical woman and have to brag to all my friends how Sweet my other half was on VD. Screw it.

What can he do if he wants to is umm say cook dinner, yes gasp actually COOK! Or maybe even run me a bubble bath, a nice massage would do the trick. So St Valentine in all his infinite wisdom created VD (not the STD) So that men can be miserable if they don't buy the right thing I say let him off the hook and save your cash there are many things to do that don't cost a thing!


Exiting soapbox with applause from men everywhere.....

That’s Messed Up

Army still short-changing soldiers on defense: Remember "Shock and Awe"? The March 2003 display of super-destructive, yet precision bombs made the world think there was nothing American technology couldn't’t bring to war. Well, here we are, four years later, and the Pentagon still hasn’t armored U.S. soldiers nearly as well as it technologically could. There’s that NBC News report on rocket propelled grenade-defending technology that Israel loves, yet the Pentagon won’t go there because it prefers a competing system made by Raytheon (wonder how much that contract has cost us, or what politician is in the pocket there) that won’t be ready before, er, 2011. And then the Washington Post reported yesterday that even armor upgrades on the Humvee (just to keep the IEDs from blowing through them, not neutralizing them) is still a work in progress. Y’see, the U.S. needed to attack Iraq in March 2003 and not a bit later, even though it was short in equipment by around $56B, and obviously it hasn’t caught up yet.

That my friends is BULLSHIT

so true

Poor OJ

O.J. "Can’t Remember," Even When He’s Making Stuff Up? Leaked transcript excerpts of the ill-fated Fox TV interview that was to kick off publication of If I Did It apparently puts O.J. in the curious position of saying he couldn’t remember some details of things he, according to the book contract, was supposed to be making up in the first place. Asked whether he took off his glove before he grabbed the knife (handed to him by his accomplice, "Charlie," he said), he told interviewer Judith Regan, "You know, I had no conscious memory of doing that, but obviously I must have because they found a glove there."

Yo, O.J., you’re supposed to have "no conscious memory" of any of these things because they didn’t happen to you.

100th Post

Just noticed upon loggin in that this is my 100th post! O well not that they were flabergasting posts anyway.


I have decided to foward my all time new favorite blog.. He is a genious I must say!
Tell me what you think....

Lord of the Idiots!


Enjoy!